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NPC Essentials

GamingE93

New member
So, I have been reading the NPC Essentials book to try a unique way of NPC development and design for my new campaign I'm working on. I just wanted to post what i had for my villain so far and get some feedback. I am having a hard time with appearance making it stand out. I really do enjoy this book though. Hopefully I'll be able to start my campaign soon and hopefully all my NPCs come out as good as i would like them to!

Core NPC

  • Name: Osaris Foxstone
  • Race: Half-Elf
  • Gender: Male
  • Appearance: Well built Half-Elf with Warm brown eyes that appear exceptionally brighter then normal. Medium to long Black Brown hair that is put into a pony tail and looks very well taken care of. Wears hide armor with a green hooded cloak with gold and black trim
  • Profession:
  • Class: Archdruid
  • Level: CR 12

Core Roleplaying

  • Core NPC Group
  • Alignment:
  • Social Class:
  • Personality (Quirks, Flaws, Behavior):

Detailed Roleplaying

  • Core Roleplaying Group
  • History & Background: Exiled from Enclave for having radical beliefs. After being cast out wandered the forest and began recruiting similar outcast and slowly formed a new druid circle
  • Power Base: Followers, Minions, Henchmen. Has gained a following of outcast druids, rangers, and others with the same ideas and principles. Formed a Druid Circle which operates in several forest and wooded areas around the Sword Coast. Recruits those with radical beliefs about the natural order. And pays those in stolen loot from villages and captured civilians for extra help if needed.
  • Dreams (Goals & Motives):
  • Relationships:
  • Reputation:
  • Secrets:
  • Daily Life:
  • Wealth:
  • Equipment:

Combat

  • Core NPC Group
  • Equipment:
  • Ability Scores:
  • Combat Scores:
  • Skills:
  • Feats:
  • Spells:
  • Special Abilities:
 

Stephan Hornick

Community Goblin & Master of the Archive
Platinum WoA
Wizard of Story
Wizard of Combat
Borderland Explorer
Thank you for your post, @GamingE93.
I read your request as a question on how to make your villain look cooler and more memorable.

On the memorable part, I posted here already:
https://campaign-community.com/index.php?threads/most-popular-npcs.883/

Looking at your current villain profile, I get no clear impression on what it is you want to convey.
On the one hand, you give him an appearance of style. Someone who cares for his appearance (in a good manner). I do not read arrogance or anything of the like from this description.
On the other hand, you describe him as revolutionary, radical, self-centered and ruthless. I do not find any traces of this in your appearance or portrayal description so far.

I have the impression that you can create much better memorable NPCs when you try to convey aspects of their personality in descriptions of their appearance and portrayal. Hints to that are all that matter. The description in itself ought to be intriguing for the players. A mystery to solve. And once you show him as a badass ruthless and radical druid, all pieces ought to fall into place and give the players that heureka moment when they finalky understand him and can put him into a specific stereotype.

Thus, your descriptions should underline facets of his personality.
You could e.g. give him a rough egde by just adding a hint of a three days beard.
He might sometimes take the time to straighten his hair (even in combat or when it is not the perfect time to do so) to show that he cares for how it looks.
If you combine this with other aspects like spotless jacket, groomed eyebrows and careful awareness for the appearance of his henchmen (uniforms!), you can show that he has a very strict idea of how things should be, stressing his vision for the future and his radicalism.
Make him talk and explain his vision! He surely looks for followers, is maybe also a fluid charmer.
What does he envision? How does he lead his followers? How does he cope with people not sharing his vision : the other druids?
Is there maybe s specific ritual that needs to be performed? Does he openly and proudly wear a golden dagger for blood sacrifices? Is he frenzied in such massacres or does he carefully measure every drop of blood?
How does he deal with his followers not following his orders to the letter?
Is there maybe resistance already within his ranks? People who plot agsinst his authority?

  • Name: Osaris Foxstone -> I would overthink the name. Osaris sounds egyptian. Fox like the animal? Why? It doesn‘t convey anything to me and doesn‘t give a mood, nor does it sound well together. For me at least.
  • Race: Half-Elf -> Why not human? What is the gain? There are already sooo many half-elf npc cliches that fit to that. I don‘t yet see why it is necessary to make him half-elf.
  • Gender: Male
  • Appearance: Well built -> what do you want to convey? Thin as in malnourished? Athletic as in trained? Stout as in rich?
  • Half-Elf with Warm brown eyes -> why warm? Why do you try to make the players like him?
  • that appear exceptionally brighter then normal. -> What does this even mean? Supernatural? Intelligent gaze? Intense gaze? As he is a half-elf, it will not even be considered as unusual by most players. It sounds to me like a description a player might give about his beloved new PC. A detail like that seems to be very important to those players, while it is often unclear for the other players and GM why this detail is important and what it should convey.
  • Medium to long Black Brown hair -> Decide. Medium or long? Black or brown? If you don‘t the players can‘t imagine the character.
  • that is put into a pony tail and looks very well taken care of. Wears hide armor with a green hooded cloak with gold and black trim -> Again: why these details? Make them connect to convey sth.


Just some thoughts…
 

JohnnFour

Game Master
Staff member
Adamantium WoA
Wizard of Story
Wizard of Combat
Gamer Lifestyle
Demonplague Author
Borderland Explorer
Good stuff so far @GamingE93!

I'd try to figure out their Goal and motivation next. What makes them a villain in your game?
 

ExileInParadise

RPG Therapist
Staff member
Adamantium WoA
Wizard of Story
A half-elven druidic with bright/warm eyes ... this guy is a charismatic charmer with a darker agenda.
What were the radical/revolutionary beliefs that got him kicked out?
What is his manifesto/agenda now?
The care in appearance and beguiling eyes are parts of his recruiting weapons and part of the cult of personality that builds and holds his power base.
The gaze description could include visionary/faraway/dreamer - the brightness/warmth you see is his clear passion for this future he envisions ... even if that future comes at a cost others would consider "less than good"
The half-elven background could help drive a *mistaken* interpretation of what being "elven" meant - the half-human part of his background and upbringing "corrupts" what he thought he knew about elvishness.
And now he's weaponizing nature to what end?
What are his plans for the sword coast that would attract others to rally to his cause?
The spread of civilization down the high road from Neverwinter ... the restoration of Phandalin ... more adventurers tromping through the wilds and attacking everything that moves for food or out of fear... do the ancient forests and wilds need a protector to push back against these interlopers?
Perhaps the half-human part of his is from Neverwinter and his view of the "worthlessness" of humanity and civilization comes from bad memory / abuse in his time there before fled to the wild and took up with that first circle?
 

Stephan Hornick

Community Goblin & Master of the Archive
Platinum WoA
Wizard of Story
Wizard of Combat
Borderland Explorer
Thank you for your post, @GamingE93.
I read your request as a question on how to make your villain look cooler and more memorable.

On the memorable part, I posted here already:
https://campaign-community.com/index.php?threads/most-popular-npcs.883/

Looking at your current villain profile, I get no clear impression on what it is you want to convey.
On the one hand, you give him an appearance of style. Someone who cares for his appearance (in a good manner). I do not read arrogance or anything of the like from this description.
On the other hand, you describe him as revolutionary, radical, self-centered and ruthless. I do not find any traces of this in your appearance or portrayal description so far.

I have the impression that you can create much better memorable NPCs when you try to convey aspects of their personality in descriptions of their appearance and portrayal. Hints to that are all that matter. The description in itself ought to be intriguing for the players. A mystery to solve. And once you show him as a badass ruthless and radical druid, all pieces ought to fall into place and give the players that heureka moment when they finalky understand him and can put him into a specific stereotype.

Thus, your descriptions should underline facets of his personality.
You could e.g. give him a rough egde by just adding a hint of a three days beard.
He might sometimes take the time to straighten his hair (even in combat or when it is not the perfect time to do so) to show that he cares for how it looks.
If you combine this with other aspects like spotless jacket, groomed eyebrows and careful awareness for the appearance of his henchmen (uniforms!), you can show that he has a very strict idea of how things should be, stressing his vision for the future and his radicalism.
Make him talk and explain his vision! He surely looks for followers, is maybe also a fluid charmer.
What does he envision? How does he lead his followers? How does he cope with people not sharing his vision : the other druids?
Is there maybe s specific ritual that needs to be performed? Does he openly and proudly wear a golden dagger for blood sacrifices? Is he frenzied in such massacres or does he carefully measure every drop of blood?
How does he deal with his followers not following his orders to the letter?
Is there maybe resistance already within his ranks? People who plot agsinst his authority?

  • Name: Osaris Foxstone -> I would overthink the name. Osaris sounds egyptian. Fox like the animal? Why? It doesn‘t convey anything to me and doesn‘t give a mood, nor does it sound well together. For me at least.
  • Race: Half-Elf -> Why not human? What is the gain? There are already sooo many half-elf npc cliches that fit to that. I don‘t yet see why it is necessary to make him half-elf.
  • Gender: Male
  • Appearance: Well built -> what do you want to convey? Thin as in malnourished? Athletic as in trained? Stout as in rich?
  • Half-Elf with Warm brown eyes -> why warm? Why do you try to make the players like him?
  • that appear exceptionally brighter then normal. -> What does this even mean? Supernatural? Intelligent gaze? Intense gaze? As he is a half-elf, it will not even be considered as unusual by most players. It sounds to me like a description a player might give about his beloved new PC. A detail like that seems to be very important to those players, while it is often unclear for the other players and GM why this detail is important and what it should convey.
  • Medium to long Black Brown hair -> Decide. Medium or long? Black or brown? If you don‘t the players can‘t imagine the character.
  • that is put into a pony tail and looks very well taken care of. Wears hide armor with a green hooded cloak with gold and black trim -> Again: why these details? Make them connect to convey sth.


Just some thoughts…
Reading it once more, I notice some harsh phrases. Please forgive my tone. I only mean to juggle some frank thought and options and don‘t want to criticize or order or say what is right or wrong (if there is anything like this at all).
 

ExileInParadise

RPG Therapist
Staff member
Adamantium WoA
Wizard of Story
Reading it once more, I notice some harsh phrases. Please forgive my tone. I only mean to juggle some frank thought and options and don‘t want to criticize or order or say what is right or wrong (if there is anything like this at all).

The joy of international community - when I read through your reply I didn't get a "harsh" vibe - I got a "with my editor hat on ..." vibe.

Hopefully that's how it came across to the OP - but also good that you clarified directly anyway.

A lot of people forget that online - the speaker's native language may not be the one they post in ... and plain text doesn't convey tone well without a LOT of extra words.

Always best to give the benefit of the doubt unless you've waded into some opposing forum with your asbestos suit on intended to start a flame war hehehe.

In this case, you were responding and offering sincere help even if the wording may appear "rough" to you later.

And taking criticism of something you built can always be rough.

With time - you realize that sometimes the harshest critics are doing you the best service -- unless its you harshly criticizing your own work.

Many people are far too critical of themselves and shun even showing their creations because of it - much to the worlds loss.
 

GamingE93

New member
Thank you for your post, @GamingE93.
I read your request as a question on how to make your villain look cooler and more memorable.

On the memorable part, I posted here already:
https://campaign-community.com/index.php?threads/most-popular-npcs.883/

Looking at your current villain profile, I get no clear impression on what it is you want to convey.
On the one hand, you give him an appearance of style. Someone who cares for his appearance (in a good manner). I do not read arrogance or anything of the like from this description.
On the other hand, you describe him as revolutionary, radical, self-centered and ruthless. I do not find any traces of this in your appearance or portrayal description so far.

I have the impression that you can create much better memorable NPCs when you try to convey aspects of their personality in descriptions of their appearance and portrayal. Hints to that are all that matter. The description in itself ought to be intriguing for the players. A mystery to solve. And once you show him as a badass ruthless and radical druid, all pieces ought to fall into place and give the players that heureka moment when they finalky understand him and can put him into a specific stereotype.

Thus, your descriptions should underline facets of his personality.
You could e.g. give him a rough egde by just adding a hint of a three days beard.
He might sometimes take the time to straighten his hair (even in combat or when it is not the perfect time to do so) to show that he cares for how it looks.
If you combine this with other aspects like spotless jacket, groomed eyebrows and careful awareness for the appearance of his henchmen (uniforms!), you can show that he has a very strict idea of how things should be, stressing his vision for the future and his radicalism.
Make him talk and explain his vision! He surely looks for followers, is maybe also a fluid charmer.
What does he envision? How does he lead his followers? How does he cope with people not sharing his vision : the other druids?
Is there maybe s specific ritual that needs to be performed? Does he openly and proudly wear a golden dagger for blood sacrifices? Is he frenzied in such massacres or does he carefully measure every drop of blood?
How does he deal with his followers not following his orders to the letter?
Is there maybe resistance already within his ranks? People who plot agsinst his authority?

  • Name: Osaris Foxstone -> I would overthink the name. Osaris sounds egyptian. Fox like the animal? Why? It doesn‘t convey anything to me and doesn‘t give a mood, nor does it sound well together. For me at least.
  • Race: Half-Elf -> Why not human? What is the gain? There are already sooo many half-elf npc cliches that fit to that. I don‘t yet see why it is necessary to make him half-elf.
  • Gender: Male
  • Appearance: Well built -> what do you want to convey? Thin as in malnourished? Athletic as in trained? Stout as in rich?
  • Half-Elf with Warm brown eyes -> why warm? Why do you try to make the players like him?
  • that appear exceptionally brighter then normal. -> What does this even mean? Supernatural? Intelligent gaze? Intense gaze? As he is a half-elf, it will not even be considered as unusual by most players. It sounds to me like a description a player might give about his beloved new PC. A detail like that seems to be very important to those players, while it is often unclear for the other players and GM why this detail is important and what it should convey.
  • Medium to long Black Brown hair -> Decide. Medium or long? Black or brown? If you don‘t the players can‘t imagine the character.
  • that is put into a pony tail and looks very well taken care of. Wears hide armor with a green hooded cloak with gold and black trim -> Again: why these details? Make them connect to convey sth.


Just some thoughts…
Thank you for your feedback, it is helping me rethink certain things about him. I see what you mean when i go back and really think about everything. Some of it is kind of all over the place. I'm going to reskin certain aspects and repost on here.
 

GamingE93

New member
A half-elven druidic with bright/warm eyes ... this guy is a charismatic charmer with a darker agenda.
What were the radical/revolutionary beliefs that got him kicked out?
What is his manifesto/agenda now?
The care in appearance and beguiling eyes are parts of his recruiting weapons and part of the cult of personality that builds and holds his power base.
The gaze description could include visionary/faraway/dreamer - the brightness/warmth you see is his clear passion for this future he envisions ... even if that future comes at a cost others would consider "less than good"
The half-elven background could help drive a *mistaken* interpretation of what being "elven" meant - the half-human part of his background and upbringing "corrupts" what he thought he knew about elvishness.
And now he's weaponizing nature to what end?
What are his plans for the sword coast that would attract others to rally to his cause?
The spread of civilization down the high road from Neverwinter ... the restoration of Phandalin ... more adventurers tromping through the wilds and attacking everything that moves for food or out of fear... do the ancient forests and wilds need a protector to push back against these interlopers?
Perhaps the half-human part of his is from Neverwinter and his view of the "worthlessness" of humanity and civilization comes from bad memory / abuse in his time there before fled to the wild and took up with that first circle?
This is why i wanted to post this because a lot of these things i hadn't even thought about. Yet they are extremely important. Thank you for your comment. I will be posting the finished NPC when he is done there is a lot i have to think about.
 

GamingE93

New member
Reading it once more, I notice some harsh phrases. Please forgive my tone. I only mean to juggle some frank thought and options and don‘t want to criticize or order or say what is right or wrong (if there is anything like this at all).
Nah nothing came across as harsh to me. It came across to me as helpful feedback and pointed out some things I hadn't really thought about. I appreciate any feedback or constructive criticism. Thats how ill learn. I'm going to spend some time today really thinking about all the points everyone has brought up. But yeah, don't worry buddy i have not taken offense or thought you were coming off as harsh. I appreciate your comments and your help.
 

GamingE93

New member
Good stuff so far @GamingE93!

I'd try to figure out their Goal and motivation next. What makes them a villain in your game?
That is something I've been thinking about over time even before i started making a villain. What do you think is more important as far as villains specifically? Appearance and demeanor and how they are portrayed, or what their goals and background and things like that are?
 

Stephan Hornick

Community Goblin & Master of the Archive
Platinum WoA
Wizard of Story
Wizard of Combat
Borderland Explorer
I‘m looking forward to your next rethinking cycle. I have this all the time btw. First there is NPC A version 1, sometimes there are several iterations before I‘m happy with it.
 

Stephan Hornick

Community Goblin & Master of the Archive
Platinum WoA
Wizard of Story
Wizard of Combat
Borderland Explorer
That is something I've been thinking about over time even before i started making a villain. What do you think is more important as far as villains specifically? Appearance and demeanor and how they are portrayed, or what their goals and background and things like that are?
In this order: goals, background, demeanor, appearance. The latter seems to me always be based on the former.
 

JohnnFour

Game Master
Staff member
Adamantium WoA
Wizard of Story
Wizard of Combat
Gamer Lifestyle
Demonplague Author
Borderland Explorer
That is something I've been thinking about over time even before i started making a villain. What do you think is more important as far as villains specifically? Appearance and demeanor and how they are portrayed, or what their goals and background and things like that are?
It depends on when this in becomes important to gameplay either because of player interaction or plot logic.

Generally, villains in my games don't get encountered until later on. The consequences of the villain's actions hit characters first. Then as the campaign goes on, the villain might make an appearance.

But if you have an encounter with the villain planned early on, then I'd prio NPC building, including appearance

In general, if I know the villain is the Queen of Beetles, she wants to take control of the region and rule it, and she needs to beat some opponents and subjugate a city, a couple of towns, and the countryside dotted with villages, that's enough villain development for now. I'd focus on whipping up the first adventure, next.
 
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